One thing that has been cropping up lately has been the idea of brokenness in Christianity. Everyone is always talking about how broken they are and that they are useless without God and all of these negative things. Our culture is so focused on the negatives and what we need to fix rather than the gifts that come from what we have been through. My biggest disagreement with this is the fact that we are not broken.
We are not broken.
So why does everyone say we are? Why does no one understand that just because they have a couple of scrapes and bruises from the journey doesn't mean they are broken? WE ARE NOT BROKEN.
God does not create broken goods. He creates a soul that gets tossed around but never breaks. Broken things cannot be fixed and cannot be used. You don't see everyone sitting down, unmovable because they are broken. We pick ourselves up and move on with life, knowing that it goes on and God can still use us. Things happen and they are difficult, but that doesn't make us broken.
There is a song that I really love by the Color Morale called Walkers and one line in the song says, "we are not useless, just used." And this is so perfect. We are not useless because God still uses us to do His will, but we are used because He is continually using us and making our lives into something. Most things that we work for are not easy and no matter what, we get our feelings hurt. However, this does not render us useless.
We need to WAKE UP. Get out of the mindset that you are broken. YOU ARE NOT BROKEN.
Christians are usually the ones talking about how broken and useless they are, and it's no wonder we all have poor self esteem. We keep putting this cloud over ourselves giving us a false idea of our potential. We could be capable of so much more if we realized we are not broken. Those that we serve in the missions field or in day to day life do not want to listen to someone who says that they are broken and useless. Would you put any stock in anything someone says if they don't think they have some sort of value? If I wasn't a Christian and someone was telling me that they were broken because they are a sinner and God was using their broken pieces I would not think it would be a good idea to become a Christian.
Give yourself a self-esteem boost and know that you are not broken. You are not useless. You have some scrapes and bruises and you are a little bit used, but you are not broken or useless. God does not create broken things.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Changes in History
I am always amazed at how God works in ones life. The things that we learn over time are hard, but rewarding and can change the way we view the world. Over the past six months I have undergone quite a few changes, but I believe they are for the better. The past, present, and future are all overlapping and aligning.
There are negative changes that happen and we begin to wonder why. They come from negative things and we try to step back and consider the source, but cannot find it. When we finally do, it is as if a train has hit us, blindsided us. Out of nowhere we are left to deal with a mound of change that we never saw coming. The only thing we want to do after that is lift our fist and scowl at the monster that just rode us over and left us for dead. But we cannot do that. The train has already left and we are forgotten, left to our own devices.
But out of this train wreck, we are also left with the opportunity to make positive changes. We can reconstruct and heal ourselves so that we can be stronger for the next train that comes around. We begin by taking all the old things that make us weaker or are just excess baggage from the last mistake and we learn from them. The baggage that is weighing us down gets evaluated and removed while the things that made us weak are plucked from off of us. Soon we feel lighter and stronger, knowing that we have made changes that are beneficial to us moving on and living happier lives. And as we continue with this healthy habit of stripping ourselves of these things, we feel the quality of our lives grow to be something worthwhile.
God uses these train wrecks to allow us to build ourselves back up with the tools He has given us and with His helping hands. He understands our pain and He understands our desire to change. He places the negative in our lives so that we can make positive changes out of those experiences. The dark is used so that we can see the light. Pull back the blinds and look at the sun shining through your windows. You can't live in a dark house because then you will never be able to see the mess you are in because you couldn't see anything. When you let God shine into your life and open up your house to Him, you will be able to see where you went wrong in the dark and fix it. And the more you mull around and sulk about it, the slower the process will be. God made our faces so that it is easier to smile for a reason.
Through the changes I have made in the past six months, I feel like a new person. Happiness is not a difficult thing to feel anymore and joy is a constant companion. God has given me reason to make changes and I have pulled back all of my blinds so that His light can be constantly shining in. I can see the messes left from past mistakes and bad memories. I am literally cleaning out my closets of anything that reminds me of those unhappy times and making room for less clutter and an opportunity to fit things that will remind me of my newfound joy. I am making room for God's new blessings. And in getting rid of the unhappy things, I am able to allow myself to forget how I used to feel. It opens me up to being happy all the time.
Change is a beautiful thing and I have always been open to it, but now more than ever I am ready for change. This is a lifestyle, not a habit that I will drop. I am enjoying the changes I am making and I can feel my quality of life becoming all that I ever wanted it to be. God has given me new opportunities and I am ready to take them on because my mind is fresh and de-cluttered from what used to occupy the space. I can focus on what is important now and see all the blessings that surround me. Change is beautiful.
There are negative changes that happen and we begin to wonder why. They come from negative things and we try to step back and consider the source, but cannot find it. When we finally do, it is as if a train has hit us, blindsided us. Out of nowhere we are left to deal with a mound of change that we never saw coming. The only thing we want to do after that is lift our fist and scowl at the monster that just rode us over and left us for dead. But we cannot do that. The train has already left and we are forgotten, left to our own devices.
But out of this train wreck, we are also left with the opportunity to make positive changes. We can reconstruct and heal ourselves so that we can be stronger for the next train that comes around. We begin by taking all the old things that make us weaker or are just excess baggage from the last mistake and we learn from them. The baggage that is weighing us down gets evaluated and removed while the things that made us weak are plucked from off of us. Soon we feel lighter and stronger, knowing that we have made changes that are beneficial to us moving on and living happier lives. And as we continue with this healthy habit of stripping ourselves of these things, we feel the quality of our lives grow to be something worthwhile.
God uses these train wrecks to allow us to build ourselves back up with the tools He has given us and with His helping hands. He understands our pain and He understands our desire to change. He places the negative in our lives so that we can make positive changes out of those experiences. The dark is used so that we can see the light. Pull back the blinds and look at the sun shining through your windows. You can't live in a dark house because then you will never be able to see the mess you are in because you couldn't see anything. When you let God shine into your life and open up your house to Him, you will be able to see where you went wrong in the dark and fix it. And the more you mull around and sulk about it, the slower the process will be. God made our faces so that it is easier to smile for a reason.
Through the changes I have made in the past six months, I feel like a new person. Happiness is not a difficult thing to feel anymore and joy is a constant companion. God has given me reason to make changes and I have pulled back all of my blinds so that His light can be constantly shining in. I can see the messes left from past mistakes and bad memories. I am literally cleaning out my closets of anything that reminds me of those unhappy times and making room for less clutter and an opportunity to fit things that will remind me of my newfound joy. I am making room for God's new blessings. And in getting rid of the unhappy things, I am able to allow myself to forget how I used to feel. It opens me up to being happy all the time.
Change is a beautiful thing and I have always been open to it, but now more than ever I am ready for change. This is a lifestyle, not a habit that I will drop. I am enjoying the changes I am making and I can feel my quality of life becoming all that I ever wanted it to be. God has given me new opportunities and I am ready to take them on because my mind is fresh and de-cluttered from what used to occupy the space. I can focus on what is important now and see all the blessings that surround me. Change is beautiful.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Levels
People are always coming and going in our lives due to different circumstances that make us realize where everyone fits in our own world. At one time, someone may have been more or less important to you than they are now. Even your own level of importance to other people changes and varies according to the status you carry with them. People constantly change, and like a snake, they shed skin to bring out the new person.
Some people are so often changing that you end up not knowing who they are no matter how much you try to get to know them. They change according to their friends or a relationship so that they become the person someone else wants them to be. In time, their own personality gets lost or changes so frequently that you lose track of them entirely because you have no idea what you were looking for in the first place. And when someone begins changing you is when you need to leave. A person should never have to change to make someone else appreciate them. If you don't like someone for who they are, just do them a favor and leave them alone. Nothing is more sad than a person being changed just to fit into someone else's mold.
I have two best friends whom I have know for over ten years and I have never had to change or alter myself to make them happy. We have been friends for so long because we are who are in front of each other. I could not ask for more in a friendship. My dearest friends with whom I have kept in touch are the people who are content with the person I have become and the woman I will be. I refuse to change me for the sake of someone else.
And in a relationship, I am myself. My boyfriend loves me for who I am not who I was or could be and them same goes from me to him. He is himself and I love him for just that. If I were to try and change him I would be changing the very person I fell in love with, and how does that even make sense? It is so important in a relationship to be honest with who you are to the other person, letting them love and cherish you for who you are.
Identity theft does not just happen to credit cards and social security numbers. It happens to personality quirks and characteristics that make a person who they are. Some of the most important things get stolen from a person just because someone else wasn't happy with it. Don't lose who you are in the shuffle. Celebrate the fact that there is someone else out there to treasure you who will adore those quirks that make you who you are.
Some people are so often changing that you end up not knowing who they are no matter how much you try to get to know them. They change according to their friends or a relationship so that they become the person someone else wants them to be. In time, their own personality gets lost or changes so frequently that you lose track of them entirely because you have no idea what you were looking for in the first place. And when someone begins changing you is when you need to leave. A person should never have to change to make someone else appreciate them. If you don't like someone for who they are, just do them a favor and leave them alone. Nothing is more sad than a person being changed just to fit into someone else's mold.
I have two best friends whom I have know for over ten years and I have never had to change or alter myself to make them happy. We have been friends for so long because we are who are in front of each other. I could not ask for more in a friendship. My dearest friends with whom I have kept in touch are the people who are content with the person I have become and the woman I will be. I refuse to change me for the sake of someone else.
And in a relationship, I am myself. My boyfriend loves me for who I am not who I was or could be and them same goes from me to him. He is himself and I love him for just that. If I were to try and change him I would be changing the very person I fell in love with, and how does that even make sense? It is so important in a relationship to be honest with who you are to the other person, letting them love and cherish you for who you are.
Identity theft does not just happen to credit cards and social security numbers. It happens to personality quirks and characteristics that make a person who they are. Some of the most important things get stolen from a person just because someone else wasn't happy with it. Don't lose who you are in the shuffle. Celebrate the fact that there is someone else out there to treasure you who will adore those quirks that make you who you are.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Hands
It always amazes me what hands can create. We use our hands so much more than we realize and we depend on them because we have no other choice. They give us our way of life and they allow us to do more than we can fathom. Hands give us the ability to create what our minds conceive.
Without our hands, where would we be? How did God design them? Does God have hands like ours? Hands are a gift that should not be taken for granted, but are. They allow us to be human. Our fingers and palms all work together to do the tasks that we need them to. Grabbing, snatching, smoothing, grasping, touching, writing. All these things are done with our hands, as well as thousands of other things.
Thank you hands for all their hard work, then thank God for such a blessing. Hands are more than just hands. They give us the ability to live.
Without our hands, where would we be? How did God design them? Does God have hands like ours? Hands are a gift that should not be taken for granted, but are. They allow us to be human. Our fingers and palms all work together to do the tasks that we need them to. Grabbing, snatching, smoothing, grasping, touching, writing. All these things are done with our hands, as well as thousands of other things.
Thank you hands for all their hard work, then thank God for such a blessing. Hands are more than just hands. They give us the ability to live.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Steps
I just bought a pair of Toms shoes and I am very excited to know that a child will also be getting a free pair of shoes who really needs them. I know that much of the money I spent will also go towards advertising and payroll, but at least a child without shoes now has a pair. As long as I am helping someone, I am happy. It will be nice because whenever I wear those shoes I will think of a child who is just a little bit better off than they were before.
No matter what, I think that charities are great things. As long as most of their money is actually going towards their cause and they are trying to make a change in the world. With some organizations, I wonder if their organization has really done anything to help the people they claim to be supporting. For example, there are some cancer charities that still have not found a cure yet for the cancer they try to combat. You would think that after a few years there might be some progress made.
As for right now, though, I am glad that people are taking a stand and fighting poverty. It is good to see people come together for a good cause.
No matter what, I think that charities are great things. As long as most of their money is actually going towards their cause and they are trying to make a change in the world. With some organizations, I wonder if their organization has really done anything to help the people they claim to be supporting. For example, there are some cancer charities that still have not found a cure yet for the cancer they try to combat. You would think that after a few years there might be some progress made.
As for right now, though, I am glad that people are taking a stand and fighting poverty. It is good to see people come together for a good cause.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Create New
More and more I realize how much I miss art and my art classes from high school. That is one of the very few things I miss about that time period. Art class was certainly my way of escaping into my mind, in a place that no one else could come to. In my art I was able to create and recognize who I was and what was going through my mind. Artwork in general is so expressive and each piece has it's own unique story to compliment it.
If I could just work on art for the rest of my life, I would. For now, I will simply work on art as much as I can, and continue to do photography.
If I could just work on art for the rest of my life, I would. For now, I will simply work on art as much as I can, and continue to do photography.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
if you see it, just close those blue eyes like you mean it
Tomorrow is the last day of classes, and then we have finals and then fin to junior year of college. Golly, that was quick! I am still in awe that college has been skipping past me like a child on the playground. It is just a fleeting sight, quick to leave. I am constantly bombarded with the fact that I will be leaving familiarity soon, and though I can adapt well, I am still nervous about this upcoming change.
On another note, Aaron and I have taken on a new hobby of reading together! This is really exciting for me because I love books and writing and everything to do with paper and words. One of my professors told me that her and her husband would read to one another and it strengthened their relationship a lot. When you read to someone or they read to you, it builds a sense of trust because you begin trusting them for a positive outcome to the story. You trust their words and they enjoy you listening and visa versa. We are reading The Priest's Graveyard by Ted Dekker and it is a Christian thriller, and Dekker is one of my favorite authors. I got the book from my parents and Aaron and I had been looking for a book to read together, so we chose this one. We are thinking that our next book will be a little bit more happy however.
I wish the weather would warm up. It is getting rather dreary outside and I wish the sun would come out. It would be so lovely to have lunch outside with my friends. Maybe sometime this week.
Life is beautiful, enjoy every precious moment.
On another note, Aaron and I have taken on a new hobby of reading together! This is really exciting for me because I love books and writing and everything to do with paper and words. One of my professors told me that her and her husband would read to one another and it strengthened their relationship a lot. When you read to someone or they read to you, it builds a sense of trust because you begin trusting them for a positive outcome to the story. You trust their words and they enjoy you listening and visa versa. We are reading The Priest's Graveyard by Ted Dekker and it is a Christian thriller, and Dekker is one of my favorite authors. I got the book from my parents and Aaron and I had been looking for a book to read together, so we chose this one. We are thinking that our next book will be a little bit more happy however.
I wish the weather would warm up. It is getting rather dreary outside and I wish the sun would come out. It would be so lovely to have lunch outside with my friends. Maybe sometime this week.
Life is beautiful, enjoy every precious moment.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Closing Time
The school year comes to a close for me next Tuesday. After that, I will be a senior in college and that is quite honesty, extremely terrifying. I have one more year before I actually become and adult and have to do things that I won't have a clue about doing. Such as getting a real job??? Since when did this all happen? When did I grow up?
There are many more things to think about nowadays as I prepare for senior year and living in an on-campus apartment - the in-between step so that a real apartment is not so shocking. I have to figure out what I am going to bring, what my schedule from day to day will look like and what I will be doing outside of my classes. Next semester I have Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays off and I am still debating whether or not I should get an off-campus job. Just thinking about all these choices is making me go nutty.
All I know is that the Lord has a plan and that no matter what next year is going to amaze me and I am going to enjoy every moment. My life is slowing down and I am so grateful to finally have fewer things to cause anxiety. Since returning from Mississippi, I feel myself just deflating from all the pressure of the trip.
And in the past few weeks since starting this new relationship with Aaron, I have been thinking about what the next year and the summer will look like with him. What will this year bring for us in this exciting new adventure? We are already planning many fun dates for the summer and we look forward to cooking together in my apartment. We want to maintain a healthy relationship that truly brings joy to our lives and to our time together. I am excited to see what happens this summer and throughout our senior year and to see where life takes us. I really care about him and I am so thankful for him and the man he is. God has truly given me a gift that I will always cherish.
There are many more things to think about nowadays as I prepare for senior year and living in an on-campus apartment - the in-between step so that a real apartment is not so shocking. I have to figure out what I am going to bring, what my schedule from day to day will look like and what I will be doing outside of my classes. Next semester I have Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays off and I am still debating whether or not I should get an off-campus job. Just thinking about all these choices is making me go nutty.
All I know is that the Lord has a plan and that no matter what next year is going to amaze me and I am going to enjoy every moment. My life is slowing down and I am so grateful to finally have fewer things to cause anxiety. Since returning from Mississippi, I feel myself just deflating from all the pressure of the trip.
And in the past few weeks since starting this new relationship with Aaron, I have been thinking about what the next year and the summer will look like with him. What will this year bring for us in this exciting new adventure? We are already planning many fun dates for the summer and we look forward to cooking together in my apartment. We want to maintain a healthy relationship that truly brings joy to our lives and to our time together. I am excited to see what happens this summer and throughout our senior year and to see where life takes us. I really care about him and I am so thankful for him and the man he is. God has truly given me a gift that I will always cherish.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Lucky
This man is a gift and a treasure and I thank God for him everyday.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Time for Reflecting
This is a time of year when I usually reflect on the year and what it has meant for me. I am still processing all that has happened this year and all that I have learned through my experiences and relationships. Many things have been made clear to me and make more sense now as to why they happen, even though they are difficult. Everything has a purpose and whether or not that purpose is good or bad, you learn. And oh, have I learned.
Not only have I learned, but I have experienced this year. I have gone through much more than I thought I could endure, but I made it through and that empowers me. I can celebrate amongst chaos and confusion. Not everything looks beautiful when it first blooms, but eventually you wake up finding yourself amongst a garden of lovely flowers. It is only then that you see what has been growing around you. I have finally woken up and my garden is glorious.
My mind, body, and soul have become places where I feel safe and I know that I can run to them when I see something questionable on the horizon. I can see that this life is full of surprises and twists that you are blindsided by. And those are the moments when I can only throw my head back and laugh because life can seem so predictable until those instances sweep in and take the breath right out of your throat. This past month alone has captured my whole respiratory system as I revel is how beautiful surprises can be, and I have truly found a beautiful surprise.
As the school year closes, I will continue to reflect on what it means to be faithful and calm amongst the college stress of end of the year finals. But I have faith that all will be well and I will return home with a smile on my face and a newfound appreciation for my growth in maturity. I look forward to having a summer to reflect on how my own person has changed this year and just how I got to the place I am in now.
Always remember that life is beautiful. When it does not seem that way, close your eyes and know that when you open them again, you will be surrounded by a garden that was being cultivated all the while you struggled. There is beauty everywhere and there is hope in everything.
Not only have I learned, but I have experienced this year. I have gone through much more than I thought I could endure, but I made it through and that empowers me. I can celebrate amongst chaos and confusion. Not everything looks beautiful when it first blooms, but eventually you wake up finding yourself amongst a garden of lovely flowers. It is only then that you see what has been growing around you. I have finally woken up and my garden is glorious.
My mind, body, and soul have become places where I feel safe and I know that I can run to them when I see something questionable on the horizon. I can see that this life is full of surprises and twists that you are blindsided by. And those are the moments when I can only throw my head back and laugh because life can seem so predictable until those instances sweep in and take the breath right out of your throat. This past month alone has captured my whole respiratory system as I revel is how beautiful surprises can be, and I have truly found a beautiful surprise.
As the school year closes, I will continue to reflect on what it means to be faithful and calm amongst the college stress of end of the year finals. But I have faith that all will be well and I will return home with a smile on my face and a newfound appreciation for my growth in maturity. I look forward to having a summer to reflect on how my own person has changed this year and just how I got to the place I am in now.
Always remember that life is beautiful. When it does not seem that way, close your eyes and know that when you open them again, you will be surrounded by a garden that was being cultivated all the while you struggled. There is beauty everywhere and there is hope in everything.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Hear the Peepers
You know the weather is getting warmer when you can hear the peepers. Their loud racket signifies the freedom of summer air and that steady nighttime breeze. When you hear them, you feel calm because you know that beautiful days are ahead and soon the cool New England weather will let up and let us celebrate.
One of my favorite parts of summer is being barefoot in the grass. It feels free and invigorating. My toes intertwined with my yard is tempting and I cannot wait to have my bare feet allowed to be wherever they please. The thought is wonderful, and soon this rainy and dreary weather will pass.
Until then I will listen to the peepers and dream of sunny days and lazy nights. I wish I could be outside now next to a fire with people I love roasting a marshmallow and smiling. Summer is not far off and it will be worth the wait.
One of my favorite parts of summer is being barefoot in the grass. It feels free and invigorating. My toes intertwined with my yard is tempting and I cannot wait to have my bare feet allowed to be wherever they please. The thought is wonderful, and soon this rainy and dreary weather will pass.
Until then I will listen to the peepers and dream of sunny days and lazy nights. I wish I could be outside now next to a fire with people I love roasting a marshmallow and smiling. Summer is not far off and it will be worth the wait.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Thinking of Mississippi
Hope needs to be restored. People need to see that God is working in Mississippi and He is changing it. Faith needs to be restored because there will be a day when the state will be a place that people admire. Mississippi will rise to it's potential and it will flourish.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Blessed
God has truly blessed me in the past few days. I have been taken by surprise and I am so thankful for that. My life has been changed in an instant and I cannot stop smiling about it. Whenever I think about it, my heart starts to flutter and my fingers get tingly. My face can't help but break out into a huge smile and all I want to do is spin around and dance. I am full of joy because God has blessed me with and how amazing He is. I cannot being to explain how lucky and blessed I am. These events are truly works of His and I cannot get over how crazy this is. But I am so happy and I cannot wait to see where this goes. God really is good and He has perfect timing and I love Him so very much and He loves me so very much. Life is good :]
Monday, April 4, 2011
Mississippi Journal (3.23.2011)
It's only been a couple days, but I already miss Mississippi like crazy. I miss In His Steps, the town, the kids, the people. Everything. Since being back, I find it strange that there is hardly any diversity here. Mostly, Gordon and the surrounding community is white. I almost miss being gawked at because of my skin color. Ever since leaving, I have felt God calling me back to In His Steps and Canton, and I know that when the time is just right, I will be back there. And until then, I will just have to wait.
But waiting is still really hard. I feel drawn back for the people and the community. When I am at Gordon I serve people who are just like me. In Mississippi, I serve all kinds of people. There are so many ages, backgrounds, and stories. I want to go back and just listen to all that surrounds me. Being down there is not just abut doing service projects and talking to people. They want someone to sit down and LISTEN. No one does that. No one cares enough to go serve in Mississippi and listen to what people have to say. These people are written off and not even given a chance. And what do we have to offer that they don't? They are just as important and should be heard, because their stories are worth an ear. Carolyn and Jasper certainly have ears to hear and they listen. They know the community so well that I admire just how much they have invested in Canton. I can see that they see the potential in the people and they can see a future. Canton is a place so treasured by God because He is working through so many people to break racism and create equality. He works through marvelous people, like the Bacon's, to change a thought-to-be hopeless town into someplace beautiful.
:{In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: "It is more blessed to give than to receive."}: ~ Acts 20:35
But waiting is still really hard. I feel drawn back for the people and the community. When I am at Gordon I serve people who are just like me. In Mississippi, I serve all kinds of people. There are so many ages, backgrounds, and stories. I want to go back and just listen to all that surrounds me. Being down there is not just abut doing service projects and talking to people. They want someone to sit down and LISTEN. No one does that. No one cares enough to go serve in Mississippi and listen to what people have to say. These people are written off and not even given a chance. And what do we have to offer that they don't? They are just as important and should be heard, because their stories are worth an ear. Carolyn and Jasper certainly have ears to hear and they listen. They know the community so well that I admire just how much they have invested in Canton. I can see that they see the potential in the people and they can see a future. Canton is a place so treasured by God because He is working through so many people to break racism and create equality. He works through marvelous people, like the Bacon's, to change a thought-to-be hopeless town into someplace beautiful.
:{In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: "It is more blessed to give than to receive."}: ~ Acts 20:35
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
He will bring me back to Mississippi and I will rejoice and sing praise. I will trust that He has a plan for this time and that it is His good and perfect will.
He will bring me back to Mississippi and I will rejoice and sing praise. I will trust that He has a plan for this time and that it is His good and perfect will.
Mississippi Journal (3.20.2011)
I am on the plane home! It is so sad since I really wish that I could just stay in Mississippi. The state has really captured my heart and I know that God had the perfect plan when He placed me there last year.
On Friday, we were able to go over to Jasper's mother's house because she needed work done to her roof and house. Typically, he would not ask a group to work on his mother's home, but we did it as a surprise for him. His mother is in her 80s and has Alzheimer's. Carolyn and Jasper have to go visit her several times a day and they have to cook all of her meals because she cannot do it herself. Her home is old and the exterior was in somewhat rough shape because she hasn't been able to keep it up. What we did was replace some boards, nail in a rain protector lip, and we painted some of the house as well. The project was done that day and Jasper was so thankful that we had done that for his mother. I'm glad that Carolyn felt comfortable asking us to work on the project because I can understand why that would be uncomfortable. But, thankfully, we were able to help Jasper and his mother out in a huge way. That is the most important thing, because God was glorified with out ability to help the Bacon's in that way. Later that night we went to Mama Hamil's for dinner, and it is a classic southern style buffet. I had beans, fried chicken, mac and cheese, and I even tried catfish! It was so good. FOr dessert I had bread pudding and that was lovely too. I really enjoyed myself and had a good time chatting with some of the girls on the team.
On Saturday, we got to go into the Saw Mill Quarters and hang out with some of the neighborhood kids. I was really nervous because I was unsure about how some of them would behave. But I was happy that we did not run into any problems and the kids were amazing. Glenn and Robert were playing basketball with some of the older boys, which was fun to watch. I really admire Glenn for his ability to make such strong connections with some of these kids over the years. He is really great role model for that. As he was doing that, I was getting to know a six year old boy named Dimitrius. On Thursday we had gone over to the Saw Mill Quarters to patch up their basketball court, so Saturday we went to go get some more of that done. Dimitrius came right over and immediately wanted to help and was helping Nick tamp the patches. He was so adorable and friendly and I was instantly in a constant smile. He was so funny and was always saying the funniest things. Some of the girls on the team were going for a walk, so I asked him if he wanted to come along. He said he did and that he wanted to ride on my back. So I walked around the Saw Mill Quarters with him on my back, pretending to be a car. It was certainly one of the cutest things I have ever encountered. We walked around and said hello to different people in the area and Dimitrius just chattered away the whole time.
We got back to the basketball court and hung out there for a little bit again. Then Anders and some of the boys went to go play baseball, and Dimitrius wanted to go too. So he climbed on my back again and then he decided that he wanted to keep walking so we went farther. He saw a toad so we stopped to see if we could find it again, but we didn't. Lauren, Kyra, and Emily were walking towards us and I asked if he wanted them to walk with us and he said yes. "I want them to be my friends," he told me. It was just about the cutest thing I had ever heard. I told this that they already were his friends and that I was too, and that really made him happy. We then sat in the shade for a little and took some pictures, then walked another round around the block.
As we walked, I saw the Louis house that I worked on last year and was so excited to see it. When I got back to the court, I told Carolyn that I found the house, and she told me that they moved. She showed me the new house and then she took me over to see the family again. I got to go with her and Glenn and we saw Angel, the mother, and Timmy, the oldest son, and another boy named Eric. That was great to catch up a little bit with them. Timmy is going to a community college, which is great! I was so glad to hear that. He isn't sure about what he wants to do, but he has so much time to figure that out.
We hung out at the basketball court some more afterwards and then we left to finish one last detail on the bushes. We just needed to put pine needles around the base so that moisture would stay around the shrub. After that we had a light lunch and then some of us went out to explore the town center. The center square had a bunch of little shops and neat places to poke your head into. It was nice to walk around and see the community from a different standpoint. And when we got back, we had a home-cooked southern meal by Jasper and Carolyn, which was very generous of them. We had pulled pork sandwiches, potato salad, beans, and sweet tea. It was wonderful. They really are some of the kindest people. And at 10pm that night, we had a foot-washing service. The purpose was to close such a humbling week with an act of humility. Anders and I had pots to wash their feet in and everyone came up and had their feet washed. He and I traded off reading John 13 to open, then we washed, and then we debriefed on the week. Everyone had lovely things to say and I was so happy. And they all got a lot out of the foot washing as well, which was awesome. I will write more once I process.
:{I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.}: ~ John 13:15-17
On Friday, we were able to go over to Jasper's mother's house because she needed work done to her roof and house. Typically, he would not ask a group to work on his mother's home, but we did it as a surprise for him. His mother is in her 80s and has Alzheimer's. Carolyn and Jasper have to go visit her several times a day and they have to cook all of her meals because she cannot do it herself. Her home is old and the exterior was in somewhat rough shape because she hasn't been able to keep it up. What we did was replace some boards, nail in a rain protector lip, and we painted some of the house as well. The project was done that day and Jasper was so thankful that we had done that for his mother. I'm glad that Carolyn felt comfortable asking us to work on the project because I can understand why that would be uncomfortable. But, thankfully, we were able to help Jasper and his mother out in a huge way. That is the most important thing, because God was glorified with out ability to help the Bacon's in that way. Later that night we went to Mama Hamil's for dinner, and it is a classic southern style buffet. I had beans, fried chicken, mac and cheese, and I even tried catfish! It was so good. FOr dessert I had bread pudding and that was lovely too. I really enjoyed myself and had a good time chatting with some of the girls on the team.
On Saturday, we got to go into the Saw Mill Quarters and hang out with some of the neighborhood kids. I was really nervous because I was unsure about how some of them would behave. But I was happy that we did not run into any problems and the kids were amazing. Glenn and Robert were playing basketball with some of the older boys, which was fun to watch. I really admire Glenn for his ability to make such strong connections with some of these kids over the years. He is really great role model for that. As he was doing that, I was getting to know a six year old boy named Dimitrius. On Thursday we had gone over to the Saw Mill Quarters to patch up their basketball court, so Saturday we went to go get some more of that done. Dimitrius came right over and immediately wanted to help and was helping Nick tamp the patches. He was so adorable and friendly and I was instantly in a constant smile. He was so funny and was always saying the funniest things. Some of the girls on the team were going for a walk, so I asked him if he wanted to come along. He said he did and that he wanted to ride on my back. So I walked around the Saw Mill Quarters with him on my back, pretending to be a car. It was certainly one of the cutest things I have ever encountered. We walked around and said hello to different people in the area and Dimitrius just chattered away the whole time.
We got back to the basketball court and hung out there for a little bit again. Then Anders and some of the boys went to go play baseball, and Dimitrius wanted to go too. So he climbed on my back again and then he decided that he wanted to keep walking so we went farther. He saw a toad so we stopped to see if we could find it again, but we didn't. Lauren, Kyra, and Emily were walking towards us and I asked if he wanted them to walk with us and he said yes. "I want them to be my friends," he told me. It was just about the cutest thing I had ever heard. I told this that they already were his friends and that I was too, and that really made him happy. We then sat in the shade for a little and took some pictures, then walked another round around the block.
As we walked, I saw the Louis house that I worked on last year and was so excited to see it. When I got back to the court, I told Carolyn that I found the house, and she told me that they moved. She showed me the new house and then she took me over to see the family again. I got to go with her and Glenn and we saw Angel, the mother, and Timmy, the oldest son, and another boy named Eric. That was great to catch up a little bit with them. Timmy is going to a community college, which is great! I was so glad to hear that. He isn't sure about what he wants to do, but he has so much time to figure that out.
We hung out at the basketball court some more afterwards and then we left to finish one last detail on the bushes. We just needed to put pine needles around the base so that moisture would stay around the shrub. After that we had a light lunch and then some of us went out to explore the town center. The center square had a bunch of little shops and neat places to poke your head into. It was nice to walk around and see the community from a different standpoint. And when we got back, we had a home-cooked southern meal by Jasper and Carolyn, which was very generous of them. We had pulled pork sandwiches, potato salad, beans, and sweet tea. It was wonderful. They really are some of the kindest people. And at 10pm that night, we had a foot-washing service. The purpose was to close such a humbling week with an act of humility. Anders and I had pots to wash their feet in and everyone came up and had their feet washed. He and I traded off reading John 13 to open, then we washed, and then we debriefed on the week. Everyone had lovely things to say and I was so happy. And they all got a lot out of the foot washing as well, which was awesome. I will write more once I process.
:{I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.}: ~ John 13:15-17
Mississippi Journal (3.17.2011)
Today was so productive! We got so many projects in and finished, it was incredible. First, we went to Cora and Alice's house to finish painting Cora's bedroom. The room is now a lovely light blue and it looks like a completely new room. We bought her new window shades as well, because hers were dirty and dusty. The room is brighter and more welcoming and I really hope she loves it. We also brought them over a bag of GORP (trail mix), which they loved.
After we finished at their house, we came back to In His Steps to work on the shrubs a little bit. And after lunch we worked outside of In His Steps a little more by moving the excess dirt from the sidewalk to a wet spot beside the driveway. Nick and I were working there are first and he had his shoes off in the muddy water. It looked a lot easier than trying to avoid getting my feet too dirty. So, I also took off my shoes and I must say that it was quite liberating! It was really squishy but I was able to just move freely and get the job done more efficiently. When Caroline saw us with our shoes off she decided that she wanted to help us spread the dirt with our shoes off. The three of us had a great time and we really had fun and some fun laughs.
When we were done with that project, we went to the Saw Mill Quarters to see about filling up some rough patches at the basketball court. We got six packs of instant asphalt and patched up the holes while some of the local kids watched. They were really excited about us fixing their court and asked if we were going to come back. Luckily, we are going back tomorrow (we actually went Saturday, not Friday) to hang out with some of the kids, which will be really fun.
After patching, we went back to In His Steps to finish the shrubbery and kill the project. While I was spreading dirt into the old holes, I got stung by either a bee or a wasp. Ah well. It really hurt, but I put ice on it and was fine.
Tonight, we had a devotional about acceptance and there was a lot of really good discussion on the topic. I was actually surprised by that because of how tired everyone was. But they were really bringing up some good points about acceptance and what a Christian should think about it. They mostly talked about homosexuality rather than race and accepting people of different cultures and ethnic backgrounds. But all in all, it was a good talk.
Yesterday, Jasper had mentioned an internship with In His Steps to the group and I am seriously considering it. I could be down here for about three weeks in the summer and help the groups that are down here, which would be amazing. It would be great for the Kingdom and my minor as well as being good practice and experience for working in the missions field. The experience and exposure would be great for tough missions work because much of Mississippi is either equal to or worse third world countries in some places in terms of poverty. Knowing this fact has shocked me and really made me more passionate about working in this state. There is so much to work with. And Jasper was saying that a gentleman from India came to see In His Steps and said that the American poor are worse off than in India! He said that the American poor have no hope, and that is why they are worse off. This was really bothersome for me and I want to be a part of a change in Mississippi. The internship would be the perfect opportunity to do that and let God work in me for the greater good of the people here. The people have more to offer than what they are able to give. I want to enable them to do more and show their potential and help them reach goals. Hopefully I will be able to do the internship this summer and come down and help Carolyn and Jasper. We shall see!
:{Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.}: ~ Ephesians 4:2-3
After we finished at their house, we came back to In His Steps to work on the shrubs a little bit. And after lunch we worked outside of In His Steps a little more by moving the excess dirt from the sidewalk to a wet spot beside the driveway. Nick and I were working there are first and he had his shoes off in the muddy water. It looked a lot easier than trying to avoid getting my feet too dirty. So, I also took off my shoes and I must say that it was quite liberating! It was really squishy but I was able to just move freely and get the job done more efficiently. When Caroline saw us with our shoes off she decided that she wanted to help us spread the dirt with our shoes off. The three of us had a great time and we really had fun and some fun laughs.
When we were done with that project, we went to the Saw Mill Quarters to see about filling up some rough patches at the basketball court. We got six packs of instant asphalt and patched up the holes while some of the local kids watched. They were really excited about us fixing their court and asked if we were going to come back. Luckily, we are going back tomorrow (we actually went Saturday, not Friday) to hang out with some of the kids, which will be really fun.
After patching, we went back to In His Steps to finish the shrubbery and kill the project. While I was spreading dirt into the old holes, I got stung by either a bee or a wasp. Ah well. It really hurt, but I put ice on it and was fine.
Tonight, we had a devotional about acceptance and there was a lot of really good discussion on the topic. I was actually surprised by that because of how tired everyone was. But they were really bringing up some good points about acceptance and what a Christian should think about it. They mostly talked about homosexuality rather than race and accepting people of different cultures and ethnic backgrounds. But all in all, it was a good talk.
Yesterday, Jasper had mentioned an internship with In His Steps to the group and I am seriously considering it. I could be down here for about three weeks in the summer and help the groups that are down here, which would be amazing. It would be great for the Kingdom and my minor as well as being good practice and experience for working in the missions field. The experience and exposure would be great for tough missions work because much of Mississippi is either equal to or worse third world countries in some places in terms of poverty. Knowing this fact has shocked me and really made me more passionate about working in this state. There is so much to work with. And Jasper was saying that a gentleman from India came to see In His Steps and said that the American poor are worse off than in India! He said that the American poor have no hope, and that is why they are worse off. This was really bothersome for me and I want to be a part of a change in Mississippi. The internship would be the perfect opportunity to do that and let God work in me for the greater good of the people here. The people have more to offer than what they are able to give. I want to enable them to do more and show their potential and help them reach goals. Hopefully I will be able to do the internship this summer and come down and help Carolyn and Jasper. We shall see!
:{Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.}: ~ Ephesians 4:2-3
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
God is good and in Him alone, I trust.
God is good and in Him alone, I trust.
Mississippi Journal (3.16.2011)
The house is almost complete! Today, we primed the walls then painted them a lovely light blue. I got to do all of the edges around the bottom of the wall trim. It was nice to be painting again because I really enjoy painting around homes. While we were at the home in the morning, Alice saw our GORP and wanted to try some but didn't want to take ours. After lunch, Caroline brought them a cup of it and they really loved it. So when we go back tomorrow we are going to bring them a bag!
While my team worked on the inside of the house, most of Anders' team was working outside taking paint off the side of the house and then repainting it. All of them did a wonderful job and I am so proud of this team. When we got done at the house, we went back to In His Steps and finished the day by getting more bushes in their new homes. Robert and I got to work together for a little bit, which was really fun. We were moving dirt and clay from the sidewalk to the area behind the bushes, where they were originally. The dirt was really heavy and it was a pain to move, but it is going to look so nice when it is all done.
After dinner we surprised everyone with a trip to the closest Coldstone Creamery. It was really fun for the team to goof off and just enjoy each other's company while enjoying ice cream. We laughed so much and I was so glad to see everyone bonding and having fun. Hopefully they remain close once the trip is done and over.
Again, I love this team, and I am so blessed to be working with such an amazing group of people. I thank God for them and how wonderful they all are. I am the luckiest :].
:[Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!}: ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Mississippi Journal (3.15.2011)
Servitude
Working on the house today was great. My team got so much done and we made Cora and Alice so happy. What we did was we painted the crown molding that we had taken down to restore because it was salvageable. Then we began scraping all of the wallpaper off of the walls because enough of it was coming off already. We had to use a special spray that would help loosen the glue/adhesive in the wallpaper, and even that was at times difficult. But we got all of the walls free of wallpaper, so they are the color of the last paint job, which is pink. The walls are so dirty and even after wiping them down with water, they were still filthy. I saved a piece of the wallpaper to put into my journal because it is a nice reminder of the project.
I also got to help fix their leaky sink. Plumbing is not something that I usually do, but it was fun and I got to do something new. Nick and I unscrewed the drain and PVC pipe, then we cleaned it from the old putty that had been used before. We put the new ring and drain back on but the gap between them where the sink would be was too big. So we had to unscrew it and Zac told us that we needed a gap thingy... I forget what it's called. So when we got that the drain worked and there were no more leaks! Alice was watching us while we did it and it was really funny. She is so sweet. She told us that if we ever go back we would need to go back and visit them. I guess I will just have to come back next year :).
After our projects we went on a tour of Canton, which was good for the team to see the area they were serving in as well as the obvious racial segregation. It still amazes me that it is so blatantly obvious here. People are not shy about being prejudice and to me, that is really sad. After the tour we had our devotional, Led by Kyra and Nick about servitude and it got a lot of great discussion going about the projects we were doing, and how some of it seemed trivial. We can't go into a project with the mindset that it doesn't mean anything because God gave us that project for a reason. Missions is not glamorous and you don't always do what you want, but you do what you do with a smile. It's not about what you want to do, it's about what God has you do. The work of a servant is not what everyone wants to do. If it means something to someone else, then you did a good deed. When you work for the greater good of someone else, you have done God's Will.
:{Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.}: ~ Romans 15:7
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Mississippi Journal (3.14.2011)
Potential
The team was so incredibly productive today, and it really got me excited about the rest of the week. First we had to dig out a bunch of bushes around In His Steps property because they were going to die from the run-off from the roof. We had to dig out all of the bushes after digging new holes a few inches out. And because the weather forecast promised rain, we wanted to get as much done as possible. So we dug our holes and made sure they were the right size. Some of the holes needed to be worked on with a pick-axe because the clay was so hard, and that was a really fun tool to use. I got to work with most everyone on that project, which was really great since it gave me a chance to get to know everyone.
Around 1pm, we decided to have lunch and just when we got inside it began down-pouring and thundering and lightning. Our freshly dug holes were filled to the top in minutes by rainwater. We weren't sure if there were any indoor projects because we certainly did not want to waste a day of work.
My half of the team, (Christy, Nick, Lauren, and Caroline), got to go to a house and do a project there. We visited an elderly woman of 90 and her 50 or so year old daughter who lived in the same house. We had to go in and put sheet rock into the ceiling because the ceiling was falling apart. So we got all of the crown molding down from the borders, then took all of the stray nails out. There were a bunch of old tiles there as well that needed to get rid of because there were barely any left. We then lifted the sheet rock up and screwed it into the ceiling, making the dark room a lot brighter. The house we were in had wallpaper on the walls, but much of it had also come off, leaving the dirty pink paint underneath exposed. The dust that had accumulated was astonishing. There were little things everywhere and picture frames hung unevenly on the walls.
All in all, the house was not the type of house I would see on a day to day basis. But what surprised me was that one room that you could not really see was a lovely, well- furnished living room. It had beautiful couches and furniture and it was obviously well-kept. And it amazed me that there was such beauty in that one room, but not necessarily in the rest of the house.
The house reminded me a lot of missions because there was a lot that was not lovable. However, once you searched a little more, you discovered something truly beautiful. Amidst all of the things that are not what people want to see, was something that should have been on display. There was obvious potential in that house, and they utilized it.
It's the same with people: there may be a lot that you do not like, but you have to be willing to see where something beautiful is. You have to be patient, wait, and work to see potential. It is just as much about the people you serve and their attitude as well as your own outward image.
A Christian worldview should see past what human eyes see and open to see what God sees. He saw potential in us, so He sent His Son to die on a cross for us. He believed that there was potential and He saw through our ugly sins and sent His Son to show that we were and are forgiven. It shows that because God saw something in us, we should see something in each other. Who else is better to see potential in a fallen human than another fallen human? My God saw the potential we have, we should certainly humble ourselves to the same view. Leave all the judgements behind and look for the potential that other people have. Look deeper than the human eye does and see the potential that lies in your brothers and sisters.
:{This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.}: - 1 John 3:16 (NIV)
Mississippi Journal (3.13.2011)
Sunday! We are headed to the Bacon's church for worship, which is exciting. Most of the team has never been to a black church, so this will be quite the adventure! After we are picking Nick up at the airport because he had to take a different flight. I believe after that we are going on a tour of Canton, which I always love because it gives us a better sense of the area.
Mark 10: 43- 45
(Side Note: we went on the tour that Tuesday instead of Sunday afternoon)
Mark 10: 43- 45
(Side Note: we went on the tour that Tuesday instead of Sunday afternoon)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Light
Mississippi. That place has so much potential. It has so much to offer and so many things that it can do. The people there are amazing and they are kind. It is a shame that others from out of state do not want to go and help their brothers and sisters there who are fighting poverty and racism. But there will be a day when those things are not as prevalent and when the state is united and flourishing. This beautiful place can be so much more beautiful.
The people in the South, are first off a whole lot nicer than people in the North can be. People in the North do not wave to cars that drive by just because they can. There has to be a reason, and I am not entirely sure why. People in the South are friendlier and chattier because they aren't in a rush to get to the next warmest place and they are perfectly content with sitting outside on their porch with their neighbors, simply talking to one another. There is not as much of a drive to have an agenda as there is in the North where I feel as though I am always scrambling to get this, that and the other thing done. I considered getting a blackberry today for when I graduate so that when I have a career I can check my email on the fly. I doubt that people really do that as much in the South as they do up here. In New England I feel as though everyone has an iPhone or some other variation of the smartphone. I always swore that I would stick to simply phones, but now the whole data plan idea is tempting because it would be handy in a busy Northern living style. However, in the South I might not even consider that option.
The South does however, still struggle with racism and that is not something that is acceptable. People are people. No matter what their skin color, they all bleed red. We all have the same make-up, we just have different skin tones. And if that is reason enough to hate someone, then I am really confused. Would that mean that someone with blond hair has every right to hate someone with brown hair? Does that mean that it is acceptable for someone with brown eyes to hate someone with green or blue eyes? It is so silly to me that people can hate others just because of their skin tone.
With that, there are many ways that the South has positives and negatives. There is need everywhere, North or South. I want people to see the potential everywhere because in all the places that we look down on, there is potential. We should not look down on anyone that literally cannot help their living situation. I want to create hope and ability in those people because I believe that they have so much potential. Everyone has talents and skills that are unlike any other person. Everyone is extremely blessed with a gift that God has given them and I want to help others cultivate those gifts and let those people flourish because of their own talents and not mine or anyone else's. Go light your world and have someone else light their own.
The people in the South, are first off a whole lot nicer than people in the North can be. People in the North do not wave to cars that drive by just because they can. There has to be a reason, and I am not entirely sure why. People in the South are friendlier and chattier because they aren't in a rush to get to the next warmest place and they are perfectly content with sitting outside on their porch with their neighbors, simply talking to one another. There is not as much of a drive to have an agenda as there is in the North where I feel as though I am always scrambling to get this, that and the other thing done. I considered getting a blackberry today for when I graduate so that when I have a career I can check my email on the fly. I doubt that people really do that as much in the South as they do up here. In New England I feel as though everyone has an iPhone or some other variation of the smartphone. I always swore that I would stick to simply phones, but now the whole data plan idea is tempting because it would be handy in a busy Northern living style. However, in the South I might not even consider that option.
The South does however, still struggle with racism and that is not something that is acceptable. People are people. No matter what their skin color, they all bleed red. We all have the same make-up, we just have different skin tones. And if that is reason enough to hate someone, then I am really confused. Would that mean that someone with blond hair has every right to hate someone with brown hair? Does that mean that it is acceptable for someone with brown eyes to hate someone with green or blue eyes? It is so silly to me that people can hate others just because of their skin tone.
With that, there are many ways that the South has positives and negatives. There is need everywhere, North or South. I want people to see the potential everywhere because in all the places that we look down on, there is potential. We should not look down on anyone that literally cannot help their living situation. I want to create hope and ability in those people because I believe that they have so much potential. Everyone has talents and skills that are unlike any other person. Everyone is extremely blessed with a gift that God has given them and I want to help others cultivate those gifts and let those people flourish because of their own talents and not mine or anyone else's. Go light your world and have someone else light their own.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Now I'm Asking Why
It's almost terrible how much I miss Mississippi. Everyday I realize more and more how much I would rather be there than here. And I realize that God has a purpose for me being here, but I would rather be in the South. If I could drop everything and go back, I wouldn't even blink, I'd just board a plane and leave. My heart still hasn't caught up with me and I am still trying to wrap my mind around all that happened last week, and it is so hard trying to adjust. All I want is to throw on my grubby work clothes, throw my hair up into a ponytail, and just get ready to work. I want to be going to someone's house to repair or paint something. Or I want to be heading to the Saw Mill Quarters to play with kids and share the love of Christ. Yet, here I am back at my privileged school and my education and the memories that stick to me. Everyday I look at some of the pictures and just want to cry. I miss the faces and I miss the smiles.
Being at Gordon is wonderful. But I feel trapped. I don't know what to do because I feel so compelled to just somehow get back to where I feel I belong. I pray that God will bring me back there soon. I love it too much
Being at Gordon is wonderful. But I feel trapped. I don't know what to do because I feel so compelled to just somehow get back to where I feel I belong. I pray that God will bring me back there soon. I love it too much
Thursday, March 10, 2011
You Made Me From Dust and Matter
Mississippi is coming up and I cannot believe it. There has been so much preparation and hard work that has gone into this trip; shaping it into what it is and creating something of humility. God has truly blessed this trip and given us an incredible opportunity to do His will. And the fact that we are just made from dust is amazing. God is using dust to do His work.
DUST. What does that mean? We were made from those pesky particles that end up all over our furniture that we are constantly getting rid of. We hold ourselves as more important than what we brush off of furniture when we are made from the same material. We are no better than what we wipe up with a duster. Yet God loves us more than dust. He treasures us and cares for us because to Him we have so much more potential than dust. We have minds and personalities and souls. We have something to offer because God made us with something to offer.
So as dust, I will be swept away to Mississippi and will be serving other beings who are made of dust. My team and I will be heading down and serving the people of Mississippi. We will be learning what humility means and how to be servants, giving all we have to the people we serve. Dust serving dust.
I am thankful that for a whole week we will have the opportunity to forget ourselves and fully concentrate on God and His people. For a full week we will truly become dust and think nothing of ourselves and only of the people we serve and the God we love. I am excited to be once again humbled and to learn what humility looks like. There are so many people that we are going to have the opportunity to meet who are going to have incredible stories that are going to inspire us to continue with our work. I pray that the team does not leave Mississippi without a sense of needing to continue with acts of humility. Hopefully they will leave with a newfound love of serving and missions and living life fully for God and His people. I pray they thirst for this when they return to school and into their normal lives. Mississippi will never leave them.
Ecclesiastes 3:20
DUST. What does that mean? We were made from those pesky particles that end up all over our furniture that we are constantly getting rid of. We hold ourselves as more important than what we brush off of furniture when we are made from the same material. We are no better than what we wipe up with a duster. Yet God loves us more than dust. He treasures us and cares for us because to Him we have so much more potential than dust. We have minds and personalities and souls. We have something to offer because God made us with something to offer.
So as dust, I will be swept away to Mississippi and will be serving other beings who are made of dust. My team and I will be heading down and serving the people of Mississippi. We will be learning what humility means and how to be servants, giving all we have to the people we serve. Dust serving dust.
I am thankful that for a whole week we will have the opportunity to forget ourselves and fully concentrate on God and His people. For a full week we will truly become dust and think nothing of ourselves and only of the people we serve and the God we love. I am excited to be once again humbled and to learn what humility looks like. There are so many people that we are going to have the opportunity to meet who are going to have incredible stories that are going to inspire us to continue with our work. I pray that the team does not leave Mississippi without a sense of needing to continue with acts of humility. Hopefully they will leave with a newfound love of serving and missions and living life fully for God and His people. I pray they thirst for this when they return to school and into their normal lives. Mississippi will never leave them.
Ecclesiastes 3:20
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
It's Been a Long Time
Wow. I have not used this blog in so long. I feel really badly about that. I started using Tumblr, but I do feel as though Blogspot has a more sophisticated quality to it. So I will probably start posting more on here!
On Saturday I will be leaving to go down to Mississippi for the second time, and I am so excited! It is such a blessing to be able to go down to a place to serve for a straight week. I'm really excited to go and work and really immerse myself in servanthood. Please keep my team and the people we serve in your prayers!
Mark 10:43 - 45
On Saturday I will be leaving to go down to Mississippi for the second time, and I am so excited! It is such a blessing to be able to go down to a place to serve for a straight week. I'm really excited to go and work and really immerse myself in servanthood. Please keep my team and the people we serve in your prayers!
Mark 10:43 - 45
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